Most people choose a quote or a small flower for their first tattoo. Melissa chose a full-color Rafayel tattoo from Love and Deepspace — and put him along the arm line where a nurse usually draws blood.
The first-ever 3D otome game by Infold Games has clearly penetrated players’ lives far beyond what anyone could have imagined when it debuted in January 2024.
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Bringing to life Zayne, Xavier, Sylus, Caleb, and Rafayel, players have grown so attached to these characters that they go as far as buying out advertising inventory on airplanes and purchasing digital billboards across major cities all around the world just to celebrate a single character’s birthday in a grand gesture of love.
For Melissa, she expresses her devotion in a much smaller, quieter manner—one that is deeply personal, painful, and permanent.
Gaming and tattoos are a normal part of everyday life
Anyone who’s gotten a tattoo knows the first one is the hardest. It takes careful planning, money, trust in your tattoo artist, and a little bravery to commit to something permanent—especially knowing you’ll have to sit through the pain and live with the result for years to come.
A civil servant in her early 20s working in the healthcare industry while studying for a Business degree part-time, Melissa’s first Rafayel tattoo was years in the making, influenced by both sides of the extended family before she even started primary school.
“At the time, I was staying with my cousins who were 24 years older than me. There was a big age gap on my dad’s side of the family,” she told Fanstanza.
“My cousin had a PlayStation Portable. He let me play his PSP, and eventually bought one for me. I think that was my first step into the gaming world.”
Starting out with fighting and card games, including titles featuring Naruto and Spider-Man, it was Facebook games that captivated her formal school years before she eventually moved on to mobile gaming where her world opened to the otome genre.
On the other side of the family, older cousins on her mother’s side had started getting tattoos, exposing Melissa to body art from a young age.
“I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but my mom doesn’t like the idea of a sleeve. I personally didn’t want black and white. I wanted colors. My cousins made me want to have fun with it!” Melissa shared.
From player to stan: How Melissa fell in love with Love and Deepspace
Because she’s never owned a PC, Melissa plays all games on her phone and Nintendo Switch. Despite being a well-versed mobile-heavy otome player who invested in Mystic Messenger and Ikemen Vampire, she took some time to get into Love and Deepspace.
“I knew about the game, I saw the sexy ads, but I didn’t start playing until Rafayel’s God of the Tides came out,” said Melissa. “At that time, I had just graduated from Polytechnique. My friend and I were at the gym and we decided to download it together.”
A seasoned gamer, she had intentionally set aside time daily to familiarize herself with the new game, making time to play it in her room before bed.
“I was thinking of being a casual player. I didn’t really think of going that deep in. Similar to Mystic Messenger, I wanted to finish the story,” said Melissa, who did not put any money into previous titles. She had only bought her Mystic Messenger bias’ merchandise, which consisted of a file and mousepad.
Having only experienced 2D anime otome games, Melissa was amazed seeing all the love interests in Love and Deepspace in 3D.
She thought that the black-haired doctor Zayne who also worked in healthcare could be the one for her. After all, he kept showing up whenever she pulled on banners.
In contrast, when she was playing through the Main Story, she initially found Rafayel annoying.
“Then, in the Ebb and Flow branch, that was when I started liking Rafayel a lot,” Melissa shared. “He started to look very needy and pouty. That’s when I started ‘maining’ him.”
Why Rafayel became her number one Love and Deepspace love interest
While her previous mains in otome games all seemed to look very outwardly different, Melissa noticed a pattern after falling for Rafayel.
“They act a certain way towards others, but only act a certain way towards you,” she explained.
Over time, as she learned more about Rafayel, her feelings grew stronger, especially after experiencing tear-jerk stories in-game. “I’m someone who’s actually quite emotional. When I watch movies and there’s a sad scene, I actually would cry. I love the immersive feeling.”
“Rafayel comforts my inner child, in a way where I can do whatever I want that makes me happy, within legal limits, of course,” Melissa shared. “Maybe it’s because I had to mature fast quite early in life.”
While all Love and Deepspace love interests do accept the Main Character (MC) for who she is, Melissa feels that Rafayel is unique because he gives her the feeling that it’s not only okay to be different, it’s even better to have fun together.
“The beauty of otome games is that they give the player a sense of: You are not alone in this world, I’m here together with you,” said Melissa.
While she admits that there was a period when Love and Deepspace became a form of escapism that turned unhealthy, she managed to pull herself out of it.
Ultimately, her bond with Rafayel has made her feel more confident being herself in real life —and to live with no regrets because tomorrow could be your last.
Getting a Rafayel tattoo to mark her Love and Deepspace fandom milestone
Just like how each of our Affinity Levels and custom appearances of Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus, and Caleb are unique to each of our accounts, Melissa also wanted a unique Love and Deepspace tattoo that felt like her very own.
“Rafayel feels real to me—I buy his merch, I spend time with him in-game. I wanted him with me, permanently,” Melissa said.
“I’m someone who feels like everybody will eventually forget me. I want, at least when I die, something on my skin that shows who I loved.”
She first discovered her tattoo artist Ray through an Instagram ad. Their illustrations stopped her mid-scroll—the shading, the softness, and the way they rendered characters felt strikingly polished for someone only a year into the industry.
Before reaching out, Melissa followed their account quietly, watching new pieces drop and getting a feel for their style. Over time, it became clear: if she was going to get her first tattoo, it had to be with Ray.
Even when Melissa was old enough, had earned enough to afford a tattoo, and felt ready, she didn’t book on impulse.
She calmly opened her Instagram DM and sent a long list of questions to ask Ray about her process, hygiene practices, and how they collaborate with clients. That detailed back-and-forth, even before any appointment was set, reassured her that she’d chosen the right artist for such a personal first piece.
What’s more, even after she had decided and paid the deposit in January, she had to wait another half a year until July when she could take a longer break from work during the school holidays.
In terms of tattoo design, Melissa prefers symbolism instead of simply inking Rafayel’s face. She decided that the tattoo needs to be cute for her own liking and for the sake of the children she works with daily. While it is mandatory to wear sleeved tops, in the event that the kids might happen to see it peeking out from underneath, they wouldn’t feel scared.
Family too, influenced the placement of her Rafayel tattoo. “I never told the older aunties and uncles on my father’s side because they have their own way of thinking,” she shared.
While she did consider a fish design, she eventually decided to take inspiration from his in-game emoji, Artsy Birb.
The yellow chick is a round, fluffy bird in a red beret, clutching a tiny paintbrush—an instantly recognizable nod to Rafayel’s work as a devoted painter.
To make it really unique, she took each half of two different official Artsy Birb emojis and combined them in her tattoo. She also changed the color of paint on his paintbrush to match the heart.
“I asked myself, ‘Can you see this every day?’ If the answer was no, it didn’t deserve to be on my body,” Melissa said.
Ideally, she would love to see all six love interests tattooed on both her arms, including Valko whom she was really looking forward to meeting in-game.
That said, Melissa assured that Rafayel would always remain as her number one. There was never really a risk of “regretting” him because he was the first character who truly pulled her into Love and Deepspace and made her invest in the game, so it felt natural to give him pride of place.
She chose a spot where she could see the tattoo easily, both as a daily reminder of that connection and as a central anchor she could eventually build around with other love interests if she decides to add more ink in the future.
